Mother

Mother

I can’t deal with this pain I feel
I don’t want you in my life
I’d rater live my life alone
Than deal with your stress
I’m tired of the sickness
I’m tired of walking on eggshells
Since I was a child, I’ve kept one eye open
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Praying that tonight would not be that night
When your cold maternal hands wrap around me as I sleep
When I no longer have a single breath
Then you look at me as I gasp for air
With smiles and then with tears
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” is all you say
As if that heals my wounds

My feet are bruised and bloody
I can walk here no more
The ground around all you touch decays
In your quest for gold
As a child I’ve needed you
But now I have grown old

Goodbye my mother
I want to say I am sorry
But I never will be
The bad outweighs the good
I want to sleep and rest in peace
Safely in safety
If you love me as you say you do
Then leave my side
Leave me and never look my way again

Halloween and the tall (man?)

This has been a very difficult month for us, Eric died, Ty was sick and we've both been jobless. Charlie is getting his old job back and I have more interviews lined up this week.

Here was my update..

Here was the party..

Here was what happened later that night. I'm still trying to process what happened...

life update

Ty is ok

He is fine, it turns out doctors are stupid. It is the flu.

Tyler

We woke up this morning to Ty vomiting with a fever. The fever started at 101. but escilated within about 30 minutes to 105.0, he is in the E.R. now, they ruled out cold and flu, they think it might be an infection of his heart. More details to come.

Jared

He moved back in with his real mom a few days ago, at my request. Now he is talking smack about me. You give give give and all they do is take take take. It makes me sad to think that I took him in when he had nowhere to go, fed him, gave him a peaceful place to stay, even bought him cell phone minutes yet this is how people repay you? Is it a teenager thing to have no gratatude?

I'm probably not supposed to telling you this, but...

Eric is no longer missing, his friends and family that saw him within the last weeks leading up to his disappearance need to contact the Chicago office of the FBI. His body was found Last Wednesday, I don’t know all the details as of yet. It has not been released but the agent asked me a lot of questions this morning. If anyone knows anything please contact me or call them directly. Private message me for their number. Also if you have seen his wife or children, please let them know. They are unreachable aparently.

R.I.P Eric Ickis